Questionnaire- Is English your language?
Haven’t done a questionnaire in a while, and I do like a good Cosmopolitan-style questionnaire once in a while, even if this one, unlike every Cosmo one, doesn’t involve sex… The procedure is at least the same- take 5 minutes to answer 11 questions then find out what it means below.
1) Do you think English is the language of:
a) Shakespeare?
b) The English?
c) All native speakers?
d) The world?
2) Do you want to speak:
a) British English?
b) American English?
c) World Standard English?
d) Any English at all?
3) If you know both the American English and British English word for the same thing, do you choose one or the other because:
a) You’ve been taught one at school?
b) You prefer British to American people, or visa versa?
c) You prefer the sound of one or another?
d) You generally think British or American English is more attractive and/ or cool?
4) If you are trying to talk about something in English that exists in your country/ culture that does not seem to be translatable (e.g. the Spanish and French concept of a day between a public holiday and the weekend, ‘puente’ or ‘pont’, which literally translates into English as ‘bridge’) do you:
a) Say the word in your own language (e.g. ‘puente’ in Spanish, then go on to explain it in English)?
b) Directly translate the word into English, even when you know the expression doesn’t exist (e.g. ‘What we call a bridge’), then explain it?
c) Explain the concept in just English, however long the explanation might be?
d) Avoid the topic completely?
5) Would you like your accent in English to be:
a) Exactly like someone from a particular part of an English speaking country e.g. California or Oxford?
b) Native enough that people thought you were a native English speaker, but wondered where you came from?
c) Such that people knew you weren’t a native speaker, but couldn’t tell which country you were from?
d) Obviously from your own country, but perfectly understandable?
6) Do you think a very strong (but clearly understandable) Turkish accent in a learner of English is:
a) Something the learner should slowly work to lose?
b) Quite nice, even exotic?
c) Just another English accent, just like an Australian or Scottish accent?
7) Some people are worried that as English is spoken over more and more parts of the world it might break up into different types of English that cannot be understood by speakers of the other types. If a committee was set up to stop this happening, where should it be based?
a) England, because that’s where English comes from.
b) The USA, because its the biggest and most powerful English speaking nation.
c) At the United Nations, because English is an international language.
When you are speaking English, do you ever deliberately make mistakes in English because you think it’s funny?
a) Yes.
b) No.
9) Are there some things which you can only express in English, not in your first language?
a) Yes.
b) Not yet, but may be sometime in the future.
c) No, never.
10) Should English become the one and only official language of the European Union?
a) No, because it is only the language of two of the member states.
b) Yes, because it’s a neutral, international language.
11) If you are talking to a native speaker and you do not understand them, whose responsibility is it?
a) Yours- you should have good enough English to understand them.
b) Theirs- if Japanese people can make themselves understood with Italians in English, then why can’t the British or Australians learn how to speak more simply?
Answer Key
Please note that this is not a scientific score system, but the idea is that the more points you score, the more you think English is your language. The maximum score is 16.
1) If you answered (d), score 1 point.
Comment: By one estimate, there are now over 1 ½ billion people who speak English at Upper Intermediate level and above. There are, however, less than 400 million speakers of English as a first language. Also, over 50% of all business correspondence (letters etc.) written in English is between two non-native speakers of English like you.
2) If you answered (c) or (d), score 1 point.
Comment: You won’t find any textbooks or English classes in World Standard English, as it doesn’t actually exist at the moment as one world standard. But it might at some time in the future, and it will certainly be your language at least as much as mine.
3) If you answered (d), score 1. If you answered (c), score 2.
4) If you answered (b), score 1. If you answered (a), score 2.
5) If you answered (c), score 1. If you answered (d), score 2.
Comment: Students often say they want to sound like a native speaker. My question is always: which native speaker, Robert DeNiro? Jim Carrey? Britney Spears?
6) If you answered (c), score 1.
Comment: Obviously, New Zealanders think of English as ‘their’ language, and they certainly do not want to sound like people from the United States.
7) If you answered (b), score 1. If you answered (c), score 2.
If you answered (a), score 1.
Comment: Most native speakers do this sometimes.
9) If you answered (b), score 1. If you answered (a), score 2.
10) If you answered (b) , score 1 point
11) If you answered (b), score 1.
You can find out more about why I wrote this questionnaire and why you might be interested in the answers in the full article here.