Breasts in ELT
And you thought Sexy ELT was an attention grabbing blog post title!
This post was prompted by the infamous Bosomgate incident and agreeing to censor the word “tits” in my contribution to the Birds in ELT series on Kalinago English. I must say that I was genuinely shocked to hear that “tits” is an offensive expression (next they’ll be saying that “birds” is sexist!) but as you can see from my “What I just learnt about American English” post below, I am always happy to learn how English is used outside the dodgy 1980s Sussex secondary school where I learnt mine. I therefore promise never to use the word tits (or compound nouns including the word tits) when there are words other than tits that could be used to refer to tits.
What I am more perturbed about is a more general point that even the most right on of TEFLers, e.g. those who complain that the EFL textbookworld is bland and unrealistic, seem happy to live in a TEFL world and blogosphere in which sex does not exist- even Taboos and Issues avoids the topic! Well guys, people are still having sex (at least I hear that people who don’t have small children and aren’t staying with their in laws still are), so I intend to free us all from this taboo and ruin the last scraps of my credibility as an EFL writer (after pissing off the Soarseseses) by broaching the subject of S, E, X. No, not sexuality (been done- see link in ELT Publishing Trendspotter below) or gender (being done- see links at the top of this post). I’m talking about the act of making luuuuurve, and the feelings and issues that surround it.
I always like to push my students, myself and my readers just a little outside their comfort zone, so first I’d like to see where exactly that comfort zone is. Below are some things that I’d like you to mark as:
(1) Perfectly acceptable under any circumstances
(2) Generally okay
(3) Maybe acceptable under some circumstances
(4) Generally a no-no, but maybe not too offensive
(5) Absolutely not acceptable under any circumstances
If you have time, it would be great if you could copy the whole list with your answers (points) next to each one, than put any discussion under all that. If not, feel free to pick up on any questions you’d particularly like to discuss:
(a) Discussing a TEFL conference presenter: “He’s fit!”
(b) Similar with “She’s fit!”
(c) In a managers’ meeting, discussing the less savoury motivations male teachers might have in applying to come and work in your school in Bangkok
(d) In a lesson on celebrities or plastic surgery, mentioning boob jobs
(e) Bringing non top shelf publications that show quite a lot of skin into the classroom, e.g. Loaded magazine or The Sun newspaper with page 3 intact
(f) Doing the above only so that you can help students to critique them
(g) When talking about communicative competence, tell your students “My first boyfriend/ girlfriend was Brazilian. We hardly knew each others’ languages, but it didn’t seem to matter, if you know what I mean, nod nod, nudge nudge, wink wink”
(h) In a lesson on gestures, show them ones that are sexually suggestive and therefore unacceptable, e.g. middle finger, “wanker”
(i) Explaining such gestures, but refusing to do them yourself because they are rude (if to you rather than your students)
(j) Explain why thumbs up and the other okay sign are unacceptable in some cultures, i.e. what they mean
(k) Make a comment that makes it obvious why you are quickly erasing your drawing of a cactus
(l) Using a clip of a film with some use of sexual slang
(m) Explaining a piece of sexual slang that your students have asked you about
(n) Dealing with sexual euphemisms such as “come up for a coffee” when doing a lesson on euphemisms
(o) Talking about acceptable amounts of cleavage in different countries and situations
(p) “You seem tired this morning. New girlfriend? / Get lucky at the weekend?”
(q) Let the students continue a discussion of what they find sexy in the opposite sex in a single sex class
(r) Let the students continue a discussion of what they find sexy in the opposite sex in a mixed sex class
(s) Ask students about their experience of and plans for dating foreigners
(t) Discussing double standards in male and female nudity on TV etc
(u) Using sexually explicit songs like Lily Allen’s Not Fair as an example of recent British music or idiomatic language
(v) Doing so, but designing a task that doesn’t use the complete lyrics and so glosses over the naughty bits
(w) Dating students (adult ones obviously!)
(x) Dating students, but changing classes so that you are no longer teaching them
(y) Dating students in the school who you have never taught
(z) Discussing a school policy on dating students
(z again because I’ve run out of letters) A bit more cleavage or other skin than is usually acceptable locally to get them used to it before they go to the UK
Let the controversy commence! No? You disappoint me! Maybe my audience has improved since my last attempt at tacking this topic. Anyone one else want to help me push people over the edge a little?
September 21st, 2009 at 2:48 pm
(a) 3
(b) 3
(c) 4 [Problem here would be stereotyping...]
(d) 1
(e) 2 [no idea what p.3 of "The Sun" has on it, though. I'm thinking "Cosmopolitan" cover sort of pics.]
(f) 2
(g) 3 [Problem here would be stereotyping if you were making up a fake boyfriend.]
(h) 2 [In such contexts, I always do the OK sign to my Brazilian students so they know it's ok in English (It's fuck you in Brazil). I wouldn't want them getting in a fight for nothing.]
(i) 1 [LOL. If they're beginners, it'll take them FOREVER to get what the gesture is.]
(j) 1 [I don't say what they mean exactly, though. I say it's bad or very bad. If they're too curious, there's always one student who knows and let them know.]
(k) 3 [hahaha, been there! No comment was necessary, though. I was red as red can be.]
(l) 2 [I had problems with this at 1st, but then I'd never ever work on their favorite hip hop songs.]
(m) 2
(n) 2
(o) 1 [though I'd put myself in hot water because other fellow teachers and many of my students wear more clivage than I think they should.]
(p) 4
(q) 3 [What sex are you? Are they teens or adults?]
(r) 3 [If they're teens, I'd bump it up to 5.]
(s) 3 [Eliciting would have to be more vague, I think, as in "have you ever had any relationships with foreigners?".]
(t) 1
(u) 4 [that one is too explicit. I'd only use it if they were adults, if they asked for it, and if ALL OF THEM agreed that it was ok. Trying to save my dear own here coz if they take it up to the supervisor...]
(v) 4 [As in first stanza only? The only chance this would work is if the song had only a short bit of naughtyness. Lily Allen's wouldn't fit the bill.]
(w) 5
(x) 4
(y) 1 [LOL, if not, a teacher's dating pool would be considerably small. But only adults, huh!]
(z) 5 [What? With students? As in "go complain w/ my supervisor coz I want to shag you but am not allowed to?" No no no.]
(z again because I’ve run out of letters) 5 [More clivage than acceptable in Brazil????????????????????????????????? I dare you!]
September 21st, 2009 at 4:25 pm
I’m not gonna add to this debate, as Ken Wilson told me off for referring to a certain female blogger as having ‘big tits’. Even when I changed the offending phrase to ‘nice plumpy jugs’ he wasn’t happy.
Some old people are odd, don’t you find?
Oh, and Sara had a go at me for calling her [EDITED- let's try to at least keep the insults on topic shall we??]
Can’t please some people, can you?!
September 21st, 2009 at 4:51 pm
At 47 in adult ed, and starting in at 35, I’ve been an “old” and “safe” treacher from the start. Sexy topics have come up mostly in connection with relationship talk. And I’ve avoided falling in love or fooling around. How on earth could you concentrate on teaching if the guy was there?
I’ve only done ever Lily Allen’s Fuck You, which was a good conversation starter with teens who were blatantly anti-gay. It’s interesting to think about what would happen if we did her It’s Not Fair. She cuts pretty close to the bone. On the other hand, I’ve had all-women classes at college, where we did all sorts of stuff, from boob jobs to how the sexes define respect, and Lily Allen would have worked just great with them.
September 21st, 2009 at 7:51 pm
From a grandmother who lives and works in Mexico:
3-(a) Discussing a TEFL conference presenter: “He’s fit!”
3-(b) Similar with “She’s fit!”
2-(c) In a managers’ meeting, discussing the less savoury motivations male teachers might have in applying to come and work in your school in Bangkok
2-(d) In a lesson on celebrities or plastic surgery, mentioning boob jobs
3-(e) Bringing non top shelf publications that show quite a lot of skin into the classroom, e.g. Loaded magazine or The Sun newspaper with page 3 intact
3-(f) Doing the above only so that you can help students to critique them
3-(g) When talking about communicative competence, tell your students “My first boyfriend/ girlfriend was Brazilian. We hardly knew each others’ languages, but it didn’t seem to matter, if you know what I mean, nod nod, nudge nudge, wink wink”
4-(h) In a lesson on gestures, show them ones that are sexually suggestive and therefore unacceptable, e.g. middle finger, “wanker”
3-(i) Explaining such gestures, but refusing to do them yourself because they are rude (if to you rather than your students)
2-(j) Explain why thumbs up and the other okay sign are unacceptable in some cultures, i.e. what they mean
3-(k) Make a comment that makes it obvious why you are quickly erasing your drawing of a cactus
3-(l) Using a clip of a film with some use of sexual slang
2-(m) Explaining a piece of sexual slang that your students have asked you about
2-(n) Dealing with sexual euphemisms such as “come up for a coffee” when doing a lesson on euphemisms
2-(o) Talking about acceptable amounts of cleavage in different countries and situations
4-(p) “You seem tired this morning. New girlfriend? / Get lucky at the weekend?”
3-(q) Let the students continue a discussion of what they find sexy in the opposite sex in a single sex class
3-(r) Let the students continue a discussion of what they find sexy in the opposite sex in a mixed sex class
3-(s) Ask students about their experience of and plans for dating foreigners
2-(t) Discussing double standards in male and female nudity on TV etc
2-(u) Using sexually explicit songs like Lily Allen’s Not Fair as an example of recent British music or idiomatic language
4-(v) Doing so, but designing a task that doesn’t use the complete lyrics and so glosses over the naughty bits
5-(w) Dating students (adult ones obviously!)
4-(x) Dating students, but changing classes so that you are no longer teaching them
1-(y) Dating students in the school who you have never taught
1=(z) Discussing a school policy on dating students
4-(z again because I’ve run out of letters) A bit more cleavage or other skin than is usually acceptable locally to get them used to it before they go to the UK
I am thinking of the Mexican university/private institute adult classes I have taught. I’ve never taught in a school run by nuns or anyone else with “strict” morals (like some of the school here where female students are still required to kneel to check that their skirts touch the ground.)
September 22nd, 2009 at 12:34 am
“I’ve only done ever Lily Allen’s Fuck You”
doesn’t sound “safe” to me!
September 22nd, 2009 at 3:59 am
Maybe it is risky, but my class was just good. Anway, there were a few courageous guys who piped up and told the others what’s what. Here’s the video I used: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=03PnU27cWDs
September 22nd, 2009 at 12:51 pm
I certainly address sexism, beauty, gender stereotypes, and gay rights, all of which can touch on straight out sex. I don’t mind students talking about it, but I keep an eye on them to make sure they don’t get too filthy. Some have the students have posted music videos on the blog which I haven’t censored. I suppose generally I would be more concerned if students were sexist or homophobic when discussing this issues, rather than just a bit saucy.
A lot of this depends on the ages and genders of the students and teachers, of course. There are things I would avoid saying to my 18 year old female students that my female colleagues might get away with…..
And as for questions a) and b), if you find your pin-ups at ELT conferences….. I don’t even know how to finish that sentence.
September 22nd, 2009 at 9:40 pm
I think what you talk about in the classroom totally depends on where and who are you teaching. As someone has already mentioned, of course not with YL’s (though if you do work in a particularly repressive country without any sex-ed, some cross-curricular stuff might do them a world of good and avoid a nasty case of gonorrhea in the future) And if you’re teaching little princes in K.S.A, well best not bring in the soft gay porn reading (though many would surely take it home for ‘homework’)
But in regards to blogging!? Please!
Aren’t some taking themselves just a little bit too seriously?
September 28th, 2009 at 12:05 am
I love your post. However, my problem is blushing. I teach adults and when I started teaching I was 22. 20 years later, it still happens. Staring at the whiteboard for a couple of seconds helps and writing furiously on it is an even better strategy.
I don’t believe in taboos and I think you have raised some important issues here. I have a problem with (g), (p) and (s) – talking about sex is not the same as teaching the relevant vocabulary or discussing different cultural contexts.
September 29th, 2009 at 11:19 am
in the interest of science…
(a) 1 – I mean, I wouldn’t do it, but if a female or gay colleague did, I wouldn’t get my panties in a bunch
(b) 1 – see above, except that i’d probably do it. or at least think it to myself…
(c) 4 – probably depends on who the managers are
(d) 2 – in my particular cultural milieu, no problem, but maybe with a bunch of randy teens you wouldn’t wanna “go there”
(e) 3 – if it serves a real purpose and there’s no better source material…
(f) 3 – see above
(g) 4 – maybe in a one-to-one with a same-ex student, if there’s that kind of jokey rapport and complicity
(h) 3
(i) 5 – unacceptable for its prudishness
(j) 2
(k) 5 – why bother getting into it
(l) 2 – anyone who’s read $4MT (my blog) knows I’m generally not too shy about these things
(m) 3 – depends…on what…
(n) 3
(o) see my answer in d
(p) 3 – see my answer in g
(q) 4 – depends on the students
(r) 4 ditto
(s) 1 – no problem, I’d be more concerned about potentially racist stereotypes than racy language here
(t) 1 if you don’t live in some radically prudish / theocratic country
(u) depends…see answer in l
(v) I considered doing that with an Eminem song, but in the end I used the whole thing
(w) 4 – wouldn’t go there, nuh-uh no way (who would have me…)
(x) 2 – well that could work I suppose
(y) 4 – people would talk!!! Gasp…
(z) 2
(z again because I’ve run out of letters) 3
December 11th, 2009 at 9:05 am
I’ve done most of these and more… I’ve even done the Grammar of Taboo words, is it at the back of Swan – I can’t remember, it was when I was teaching teenagers and was their last class-bito’fun-practical-guide2bad-language and served up as a treat.
With adult males, I’m often in 1-2-1 scenarios and when I was younger I felt shy about broaching the taboo topics however a turning point came about when I was training a very important, top-level manager who was practicing a public speech and referred to the back of a car as “having a very …” – it’s actually hard to explain this without giving a real context however as this is the internet, let’s just say that in tone and implication, I had to approach the phrasing and position in the text and explain how this would make the group of international journalists titter and why…
I think it’s Pinker who has a video on youtube/google video on swear words and their place in society?
Ignoring what constitutes as life is somewhat irresponsible when it comes to the very real aspects of our students’ lives and contact with the real language.
December 11th, 2009 at 10:11 am
This list is very funny and interesting! the list itself says more than the answers!! I am with Karenne here, done most of these ! I mean with adult classes, when I teach teenagers I really try to avoid embarrassing them : young people don’t learn well if they have to manage ambarrassment, on top of the awful embarrassement to utter strange French words!