Alternative TEFL jargon August 2009
Perhaps to prove that I’m still blogging like it’s 1999, have churned out The Alternative TEFL Jargon Dictionary Part 145. Take that TEFL!*
discourse management- (also “discourse with management”) needing to make polite conversation with your boss
(English) native speaker forms- beer bellies and fat arses
filled pauses- taking advantage of silence to smack someone in the gob
headers and tails- scoring goals with accidental bounces off the back of your head or your bottom
paralinguistic- going beyond what humans can usually do with their tongues
phrasal chaining- tying up students until they learn 10 phrasal verbs
place holders- books put on chairs or desks by students who arrive early so that they don’t have to work with the class freak
pre-service teacher education- being so stressed by your CELTA that you go straight back to being a waiter
reflection in action- catching sight of yourself in the classroom window while looking like a complete prat by waving your arms about etc.
reflective practice- rehearsing your CELTA lessons in front of the mirror
shared context- a euphemism for two lonely TEFL teachers abroad waking up in bed together (usually despite not fancying each other at all)
teachers’ narratives- stories that are supposed to be funny despite starting with the line “I was teaching the Present Perfect Continuous when suddenly…”
turn yielder- cultures in which you turn your rear end towards someone as you edge past them to get to your seat, rather than turning to face them
two-step questions- asking yourself why anyone would ever listen to British R&B
All jargon from the last edition of ELTJ (more useful stuff from my mammoth effort of reading it from cover to cover coming up soon)
More recent TEFL jargon posts here and the best of the older posts in the complete Jargon dictionary so far here
Btw, if anyone should ever be inspired by any of my blog posts to write a virtually identical one, e.g. your own alternative jargon dictionary, please go ahead, no need to ask
* Catchphrase stolen from English Teacher X
Tags: ELT jargon, Humour
