Anyone can learn a language in just three months
If you don’t believe me, before you buy one of language courses for just 100 dollars* have a free trial of one of our other “…in just three months” ® courses, for example:
- Anyone can learn to run 100 metres in 10 seconds in just three months
- Anyone can learn good taste in just three months
- Anyone can learn to speak in a squeaky or ridiculously gruff voice without being embarrassed in just three months
- Anyone can learn to accept a language that assumes different gender roles in just three months
- Anyone can gain a Meryl Streep- like ability to mimic accents in just three months
- Anyone can learn to settle down for self-study every evening rather than turning on the TV in just three months
- Anyone can train themselves to learn something just because they are told to in just three months
- Anyone can become charismatic in just three months
- Anyone can overcome memory loss in just three months
- Anyone can expand their vocabulary in their own language by 5000 words in just three months
- Anyone can learn perfect pitch in just three months
- Anyone can become interested in inane chatter at house parties in just three months
- Anyone can train themselves to prefer books and films they don’t understand in just three months
- Anyone can learn to abandon Hollywood films and news from back home in favour of knowledge of the local obscure culture in just three months
- Anyone can stop preferring a good book to pointless small talk with strangers in just three months
- Anyone can learn delayed gratification in just three months
- Anyone can lose the desire to express complex thoughts in just three months
- Anyone can overcome their natural human weaknesses in just three months
- Anyone can learn to relate to people who they have nothing in common with in just three months
- Anyone can drop all their cultural baggage in just three months
- Anyone can learn to be word perfect in reciting a 5000 word book in just three months
- Anyone can reverse their ideas of what it means to be polite and impolite in just three months
- Anyone can learn to prefer vocabulary lists to ice cream or sex in just three months
- Anyone can learn how to never give up on something once they have started it in just three months
- Anyone can learn never to doubt the usefulness of what you are being taught in just three months
- Anyone can learn to sustain an interest in something they chose on a whim in just three months
- Anyone can learn to reverse all their normal body language in just three months
- Anyone can learn to never be distracted in just three months
- Anyone can learn to resist all temptations that could get in the way of studying in just three months
- Anyone can learn to never think of excuses for procrastination in just three months
- Anyone can learn enough Physics to enter an undergraduate course in just three months
- Anyone can learn to be a saint in just three months
- Anyone can find a meaning to life in just three months
- Anyone can learn to be a perfect parent in just three months
- Anyone can drop all their annoying personal habits in just three months
- Anyone can learn to enjoy studying in just three months
- Anyone can learn to stop asking for colour, decent illustrations, lack of typos and other reasonable production standards in their self-study materials in just three months
- Anyone can learn how to spot an outrageously ambitions claim for self-study materials in just three minutes
- Anyone can learn to stop trusting a newspaper that has advertorials for this kind of crap in just three seconds
* Price of monthly payment when paying for the course in the usual 360 monthly instalments
Tags: Humour
September 7th, 2008 at 8:12 am
Ha, ha… Alex - my Aunt sent me the article you link to from here.
I could not believe that this “used-car” salesman approach had actually been printed and published so I did a bunch of research on it …and who the journalist was, she’s actually got a good list of reasonable articles to her name.
I was trying to figure out how on earth this crap actually made it into the Guardian of all places. Especially as they’re normally on the up and up re English teaching. Na, ya. You’ve answered the question - it was an advertorial.
Sigh. What has happened to the Guardian?
September 7th, 2008 at 11:22 pm
OMG, another Guardian advertorial:
http://www.guardian.co.uk/education/2008/sep/06/gapyears.gapyeartravel
And yet somewhere in the same newspaper you’ll almost certainly find something praising the Venezuelans for their socialist principles…
September 8th, 2008 at 1:23 pm
Luckily, looks like the BBC still does journalism, with a less than flattering mention of i-to-i:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/radio4/excessbaggage/index_20080906.shtml
And the BBC again on the links between modern journalism and PR:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/radio4/factual/thinkingallowed/thinkingallowed_20080903.shtml
btw- if you are living abroad and not listening to both of these programmes, delete the latest crap for Coldplay and make room for them on your iPod right now!