English for Very Specific Purposes (EVSP)
Having found out from the book “English for Specific Purposes” by Keith Harding that ESP has spawned a whole raft of lovely acronyms such as EAP, EBP, EMP, EOP, EPP, EST, EVP* and also the disparaging one for General English of ENOP (English for No Obvious Purpose), I thought it was time to brush the dust off the Alternative ELT Jargon Dictionary and set off in defence of General English.
Although I have a fair number of ENOP students in both my Business and General English classes, lots of my non-Business students have very specific purposes indeed. Here are a few acronyms to make those purposes look a bit more important and so get them the respect they deserve:
EKTRP- English for Killing Time after Retirement Purposes
EACRP- English for Avoiding Cultural Restrictions Purposes- like Japanese women who can only debate in English because the feminine forms of their own language are so weak it is impossible to compete with men
ESAP- English for Smart Arse Purposes- such as showing off the latest useless idiom they have learnt
EEP -English for Extramarital Purposes
EGSP- English for Gaijin Stalking Purposes/English for Giri Stalking Purposes- this one works for women whose list of needs in a relationship are topped by “blond hair” in both Spain and Japan
ENP- English for Nationalistic Purposes- such as explaining to foreigners why they should never criticise your country
EBP- English for Babysitting Purposes
ETP- English for Therapeutic Purposes- because your GABA teacher is the only person who will listen to your problems
ECP- English for Chaperone Purposes- for Turkish university students who are only allowed to stay out past the curfew of their halls and meet people of the other sex by signing on for English classes
And a couple which give a more realistic idea of what Business English and ESP classes turn out to be:
EAWP- English for Avoiding Work Purposes- coming to class might be the only chance they have for a one hour lunch break
EBP- English for Budgetary Purposes- for companies where the only way to give staff training on the cheap is to choose English lessons rather than the IT training they really need
* The real ones stand for English for Academic Purposes, English for Business Purposes, English for Medical Purposes, English for Occupational Purposes, English for Professional Purposes, English for Science and Technology, English for Vocational Purposes, in case you were wondering