The dream dictionary for TEFL teachers
What elements of your dreams tell you about your TEFLing future:
Suddenly realising you have no clothes on - you will realise halfway through your next improvised grammar explanation that it doesn’t make any sense
Water - You will desperately need to go for a pee halfway through your first lesson the next day
Falling and falling then waking up - you will be rescued from a difficult question by the end of lesson bell
Doing the same thing over and over - your school will again refuse to switch to New Headway next year, even though the rest of the world is on the Third Edition
A cold wind - you will walk into class with your flies open
Being chased - one of your housewife students will start to stalk you
Flying effortlessly - your lesson plan will work all the way through for the first time
Walking through an empty town - all your students will skip class due to a puente
Speaking a language fluently that you don’t know in real life - You will use jargon that you don’t understand and get away with it
Suddenly realising you are in your pyjamas - Your mind will drift so much in the classroom that you’ll lose track of where you are on your lesson plan
Your teeth crumbling in your mouth - You will lose the ability to speak at normal native speaker speed due to having too many Elementary classes
Waking up and doing your normal daily routine then really waking up - You will use the same worksheet or game with the same class for the second time this term
A monster under the bed- A student will ask about the only part of the grammar that you didn’t research before the class
Being able to do magic- You will be able to successfully explain the Future Perfect for the first time
A witch- Your gay DoS will leave and the butch female ADoS will be left in charge
Being lost- You will deviate from your lesson plan during an observed lesson and have no idea how to get back on topic
Sex- You won’t get any until you get some money
Having sex with a friend you have never had sexual feelings about- You will start to become excited about grammar
Needing to go the toilet- You will have something fun to do after your last class that will make it seem like it goes on forever
Walking through a large empty house and opening lots of doors- You will have to search through at least seven supplementary photocopiable books for each suitable worksheet you find
Death- Your students will be glad to get to the end of your warmer
Being abandoned- The one student that speaks out when you elicit will be absent next week
Being late- You will get to the end of the lesson and realise you’ve only had time for the warmer
Hiding from someone- The Director of Studies will be too busy to observe you this week as planned
Tags: ELT jargon, Humour, Time management