Archive for the ‘TEFL heroes- John and Liz Soars’ Category

And you thought Sexy ELT was an attention grabbing blog post title!

This post was prompted by the infamous Bosomgate incident and agreeing to censor the word “tits” in my contribution to the Birds in ELT series on Kalinago English. I must say that I was genuinely shocked to hear that “tits” is an offensive expression (next they’ll be saying that “birds” is sexist!) but as you can see from my “What I just learnt about American English” post below, I am always happy to learn how English is used outside the dodgy 1980s Sussex secondary school where I learnt mine. I therefore promise never to use the word tits (or compound nouns including the word tits) when there are words other than tits that could be used to refer to tits.

What I am more perturbed about is a more general point that even the most right on of TEFLers, e.g. those who complain that the EFL textbookworld is bland and unrealistic, seem happy to live in a TEFL world and blogosphere in which sex does not exist- even Taboos and Issues avoids the topic! Well guys, people are still having sex (at least I hear that people who don’t have small children and aren’t staying with their in laws still are), so I intend to free us all from this taboo and ruin the last scraps of my credibility as an EFL writer (after pissing off the Soarseseses) by broaching the subject of S, E, X. No, not sexuality (been done- see link in ELT Publishing Trendspotter below) or gender (being done- see links at the top of this post). I’m talking about the act of making luuuuurve, and the feelings and issues that surround it.

I always like to push my students, myself and my readers just a little outside their comfort zone, so first I’d like to see where exactly that comfort zone is. Below are some things that I’d like you to mark as:

(1) Perfectly acceptable under any circumstances

(2) Generally okay

(3) Maybe acceptable under some circumstances

(4) Generally a no-no, but maybe not too offensive

(5) Absolutely not acceptable under any circumstances

If you have time, it would be great if you could copy the whole list with your answers (points) next to each one, than put any discussion under all that. If not, feel free to pick up on any questions you’d particularly like to discuss:

(a) Discussing a TEFL conference presenter: “He’s fit!”

(b) Similar with “She’s fit!”

(c) In a managers’ meeting, discussing the less savoury motivations male teachers might have in applying to come and work in your school in Bangkok

(d) In a lesson on celebrities or plastic surgery, mentioning boob jobs

(e) Bringing non top shelf publications that show quite a lot of skin into the classroom, e.g. Loaded magazine or The Sun newspaper with page 3 intact

(f) Doing the above only so that you can help students to critique them

(g) When talking about communicative competence, tell your students “My first boyfriend/ girlfriend was Brazilian. We hardly knew each others’ languages, but it didn’t seem to matter, if you know what I mean, nod nod, nudge nudge, wink wink”

(h) In a lesson on gestures, show them ones that are sexually suggestive and therefore unacceptable, e.g. middle finger, “wanker”

(i) Explaining such gestures, but refusing to do them yourself because they are rude (if to you rather than your students)

(j) Explain why thumbs up and the other okay sign are unacceptable in some cultures, i.e. what they mean

(k) Make a comment that makes it obvious why you are quickly erasing your drawing of a cactus

(l) Using a clip of a film with some use of sexual slang

(m) Explaining a piece of sexual slang that your students have asked you about

(n) Dealing with sexual euphemisms such as “come up for a coffee” when doing a lesson on euphemisms

(o) Talking about acceptable amounts of cleavage in different countries and situations

(p) “You seem tired this morning. New girlfriend? / Get lucky at the weekend?”

(q) Let the students continue a discussion of what they find sexy in the opposite sex in a single sex class

(r) Let the students continue a discussion of what they find sexy in the opposite sex in a mixed sex class

(s) Ask students about their experience of and plans for dating foreigners

(t) Discussing double standards in male and female nudity on TV etc

(u) Using sexually explicit songs like Lily Allen’s Not Fair as an example of recent British music or idiomatic language

(v) Doing so, but designing a task that doesn’t use the complete lyrics and so glosses over the naughty bits

(w) Dating students (adult ones obviously!)

(x) Dating students, but changing classes so that you are no longer teaching them

(y) Dating students in the school who you have never taught

(z) Discussing a school policy on dating students

(z again because I’ve run out of letters) A bit more cleavage or other skin than is usually acceptable locally to get them used to it before they go to the UK

Let the controversy commence! No? You disappoint me! Maybe my audience has improved since my last attempt at tacking this topic. Anyone one else want to help me push people over the edge a little?

1. Only write in phonemic script
If you have to teach everyone else the script before they can read your will, medical reports etc, all the better!
 
2. Limit everything you write to Elementary level vocabulary
i.e. make sure your diary, wedding speech, job application letter, thesis, suicide note etc only use the simplest 300 English words
 
3. Never forget your worst lessons
There is no better way of motivating you to improve your future lessons than re-experiencing the embarrassment, discomfort and humiliation of the time when 20 minutes of Silent Way miming was met with silent stares then one student asking “Can we check our homework now?” If you don’t naturally have the kind of personality that dwells on such experiences, you could try and organize a teaching confessions workshop
 
4. Become a Buddhist
Not, as you might think, to help you relax through meditation (feeling paranoid about your next class is a great motivator), (more…)

Positive messages to chant to yourself in front of the mirror or record on your iPod include:

1. “I will make my students love English so much that they cry when they can’t come to class”
2. “Having no money is good for my karma and the environment”
3. “I am totally psyched about teaching adverbs of frequency”
4. “The Present Perfect Continuous is all part of God’s great but mysterious plan” (more…)