Number one: cosplay
Only joking- I mean of course that the status of English teachers is not so obviously low that when I met the love of my life and asked her to marry me she actually agreed!
You won’t hear a lot about it on the TEFL forums, but there are actually a lot of other advantages to choosing Japan to teach in: (more…)
Now that “Paul Lowe” and “Windsor TEFL” are so many places on the web he can hardly have time to write threatening emails to them all let alone sue them, I can strike up my pipe, put on my tweed jacket with the leather elbow patches, gaze at my navel and get back to considering “What is the meaning of TEFL?”
In todays episode, Uncle Alex will consider “Why don’t my students (especially the adults) pull their socks up and do their homework?” It could be because they are trying to drive me to such fits of disbeliving fury that I keel over from a heart attack and they get a teacher who isn’t so keen. It could be because they are M* and hoping I will introduce corporal punishment. Alternatively, it could be because:
1. It’s boring
2. They don’t understand the instructions/ what to do
3. It’s too difficult
4. It’s too easy
5. They could understand the language, but couldn’t think of any ideas (e.g. arguments for and against or a storyline)
6. It’s not their priority, e.g. because it doesn’t involve speaking
7. They just forgot/ forgot exactly what they had to do
8. They don’t find time/ have bad time management
9. It’s a minor rebellion
10. They don’t see the point/ don’t think it will improve their English
11. Doing homework seems childish
12. They lack a place where they can do it in peace and quiet
13. They lack equipment (e.g. a CD player)
14. They have their own self-study materials or habits which they prefer
And here’s what you can do about it/ do about some of those points:
When I first came to Japan, I was confidently expecting not to understand a thing, having already heard how fiendishly difficult the language and its writing system were and having experienced how difficult the Japanese found speaking in English. From the moment I landed, I was pleasantly suprised how much English I saw and heard everywhere- but I quickly found that it was at least as difficult to understand ‘Japanese English’ as it was to work out how many syllables there were supposed to be in ‘Irrashaimase’. And there started a little obsession with Japanese English that hasn’t finished 4 years and two books on Japanese English later. Here are my excuses for my continued fascination:
· Understanding Japanese English can help you to communicate at least as much as the Japanese you find in the ‘Japanese for Busy People’ textbooks. In fact, up to 10% of words in everyday Japanese conversation are in some way derived from English (more…)
You might have some idea, as most people in England do, that the pay in Japan is quite good. Even so, you might be surprised to hear that I recently moved into a mansion- until you realise that ‘manshon’ in Japanese (or Japanese English) doesn’t mean a stately home with extensive grounds, but just an apartment building made out of concrete. I know, I laughed at this use of the word mansion too, until I slowly began to realise all the implications of living in part of a simple wooden two-storey ‘apaato’ (often known by teachers as ‘portacabins’ or ‘trailer homes’). So, here’s the low-down for those that want it about accommodation in Japan…
So, why all the fuss about the building material of my new place and the ridiculously fancy name? Well, I don’t know about log cabins in the Rockies, but having concrete in Tokyo means you don’t have to put up with any of the following complaints about typical suburban teacher’s wooden apaato:
-Being able to hear everything your neighbours do (from snoring and pulling the toilet chain, to simply sighing or stacking their dishes in the cupboard)
-Having your building shake not just from the earthquakes (that happens everywhere), but from passing trucks, trains, cars warming their engines up downstairs, people walking too heavily along the walkway etc. etc.
-Having a flat that is colder than outside in winter and hotter than outside in summer. If you don’t want to spend a fortune on electricity (and my monthly bills were the same as a family of four in the UK), in the winter you have to live under your duvet- often with several jumpers, a hat and gloves on underneath, and in the summer you have to put your work shirt on outside your front door, so it doesn’t instantly get covered in sweat.
-Having to sort my rubbish into 5 different bags- burnable, unburnable, plastic packaging, paper and ‘dangerous’
-Cockroaches (I didn’t have any of this typical problem, but I got smelly drains that had to be drained every two weeks or so)
-Death by earthquake. Obviously, I didn’t suffer from this one either, but in the most recent biggish ones near Niigata all the new buildings stayed up, and most of the owners of old buildings are still living in tents as the snows approach
Instead of all that, now that I’ve found a ‘mansion’ of my own (actually, now that my Japanese girlfriend has found us a place of our own) I’m saved all that and finally feel like I’m living in the first world country that I see around me. The flat only costs about a quarter of an average teacher’s wages, and it comes with lots of totally unnecessary electronic nonsense, such as a radio with 800 channels and a remote control for the lights- so now I really feel like I live in the land of gadgets. You’ll be overjoyed to hear that my life is just perfect, and want to come rushing out to teach and live in Kawasaki too, but there are just two small problems- one, that my flat is very very small indeed and two, they probably wouldn’t rent it to you anyway…
I really don’t mind the size of this flat, but then, I’m only five foot eight and like a simple life. And, luckily, Japanese life is completely designed for this kind of living- everything you can buy for your tiny flat is tiny too. Shops are full of miniature washing machines (upright like a 1970s one in the UK, so it can hide in a tiny closet), towels, bottles of washing up liquid, ironing boards, baths, bath mats, hi-fis, walkmans (often mini-disc), some cans of beer, baths, condoms, futons, pillows, backpacks, rolls of sellotape, DVD boxes … The only exception is the huge dispensers of shampoo, ‘rinse’ (conditioner) and ‘body shampoo’ (shower gel), but that just helps them balance on the edge of the bath better- which is the only place you are likely to find to put them. After a while, it all seems to make sense. In fact, the Japanese love of reducing things in size is pure practicality given the limited amount of space they get in their homes and on the train coming home. In fact that, and their quest for convenience, explains the design of just about every successful Japanese product- the latest one being a VAIO desktop computer with a fold up keyboard. That would certainly save me bashing my head every time I get out of ‘bed’! Anyway, injuries aside I love all this little stuff, but you might want to think twice about coming to Japan if you are rugby-player-size. If not, you should be okay, if…
… they will actually rent a flat to you in the first place. Not only do landlords take up to 7 months rent off you when you move in, up to half of which is non-refundable ‘key-money’ (the Japanese term translates as ‘thank you money’, cheeky gits), they also demand that you have a guarantor or two. Sounds like some kind of hangover from feudalism to me- although there isn’t, as far as I know, the need to let the landlord sleep with each new bride or to send your children to work in their fields. Luckily, you might never have to worry about that anyway, because like the majority of Japanese ryokan and minshuku (bed and breakfasts), Japanese onsen (hot spring baths), Japanese hotels (at home and abroad) and Japanese hostess bars, most Japanese apartments have an unspoken ‘no foreigners’ rule- so you’ll be needing to look for a ‘foreigner friendly’ place to stay. How is such racism (or at least nationalism) possible in the modern world? No idea, but actually experiencing discrimination for the first time in my life as a white, middle-class male has been a very educational experience- as has my whole time in Japan so far (4 years). And despite the very small towels, I must say I still find every day interesting, always different, and instructive in what endless possibilities there are in life- and that is all I ask for…
Postscript- This is actually a recycled email I sent when I moved into my last “mansion”, but I still reckon most of it is true and I’ve mainly just changed the dates. Sorry about all the recycled stuff recently (if you’ve noticed), but been very busy writing not one but two stories for the EL Gazette, of which you will get an exclusive preview here even before the article is published there. Coming soon to a TEFLtastic blog near you…
It’s all getting a bit “TEFLtastic with no irony intended” round here with all these fun and games I’m putting up. Maybe I’m too tired to even be sarcastic…
Anyway, here is my latest attempt to make none of us fall asleep during Business English classes. I’ve slipped in lots of emailing vocab and have tackled some common Japanese mistakes such as confusing “memo” and “note”. It also includes the most important factor for any classroom speaking exercise, which is to give the other people a reason to listen- in this case to decide if they were successful in solving the problem. The board with rules is below. A link to a full version with rolecards is also given, but please note that this is for quite a high level class that have covered most of this language before so you might need to make a different version of the cards for your class.
Business Problems Mini Roleplays
Rules of the game
Shuffle the pack of cards and put them face down on the top left box. The first person takes the top card and chooses how they are going to communicate and who they are going to communicate with to solve the problem. The options are to:
· Write an email
· Send a text (= a text message= an SMS)
· Phone someone
· Pick a time when you know someone is not available and leave a phone message
· Go and see the person and speak face to face
· Leave someone a note (e.g. put a post it on their computer screen)
· Write a memo for your whole team/ section/ department/ company to read
They should then tell their partners what they are going to say or write, or roleplay the conversation with someone. After that the other members of the group decide whether they managed to find a successful solution. If so, they can keep the card and score one point. If not, their card goes to the bottom of the pile. Play passes to the person on their right. The person with most cards when the teacher stops the game is the winner.
|
Put the pack of UNUSED CARDS face down here |
| Put the card you have turned over face up here |
Useful language to play the game
“Who’s next?”= “Whose turn is it?” “It’s your turn”= “Take a card”
“Who are you going to contact (to solve the problem)?”
“How are you going to contact them?”
“What are you going to say/ write?”
“Who is going to play the other role?”
“I think that would work because…”
“I don’t think that would work/ I’m not sure that would work because…”
“Let’s ask, shall we?”= “Shall we check with the teacher?”
“Who has the most cards?”/ “Congratulations, you are the winner”
Talk to most Japanese people about Sudoku and they will have no idea what you are talking about. The standard Japanese name is “nambaa geimu” (number game)
(Thanks to Anthony for the post title)
Why are adults quite happy to been seen in public reading manga comics?
First of all, the vast majority of Japanese adults would in fact be highly embarrased to be caught reading a manga, let alone a pornographic one, in public. The salarymen you seeing reading dodgy comics and magazines on trains are the same who slurp their pasta, spit on the ground etc. in ways that well mannered Japanese never would. Manga does remain more popular amongst adults than in other countries, though. Amongst the salaryman population, this is because they hardly have the energy to read anything more demanding, especially as reading difficult kanji can put a strain on even strong readers. There is also no social pressure to spend your free time productively and an acceptance of reading manga etc. for nostalgic reasons.
See http://japanexplained.wordpress.com for much more of the same
They avoid using the expression in this IHT article on the Japanese government policy on getting people to dress down for the summer, but I think it is a good opportunity to continue my occassional “Japanese English” series of posts:
Japanese English Compound Nouns Expressions
Which of these ‘Japanese English’ expressions would you find in the Oxford English Dictionary? Which wouldn’t you find but a native English speaker might guess the meaning of anyway? Which would definitely need explaining? How would you explain them?
Walkman/ Paper driver/ Salaryman/ Anime / A short short/ Hello work/ J-pop / Golden week/ Pair look/ Recruit suit/ Long seller/ Cosplay/ One man bus/ Karaoke/ A sayonara homerun
Choose the correct explanation for what Japanese people mean when they use the Japanese English expressions below (the other explanations are what English native speakers might think the expressions mean the first time they hear them):
Cheek dance = people who are dancing very close/ a person who is moving their face as they swish water around in their mouth after they clean their teeth
High teens = young people who are taking drugs/ people who are between 15 and 19
A girl hunt = when men go out to pick up women/ the time women go out to look for men
No make = the time when you wear no lipstick etc./ a product that has no branding
Season off = a holiday that is very long/ the time when most people don’t take a holiday
A cutter = a knife that you use on paper / a person who takes out bad scenes from movies
A nighter = a baseball game that takes place after dark/ a person who spends all evening in a disco
High miss = a young lady who is tall/ an older lady who isn’t married
Home drama = a soap opera or a domestic accident
Easy order = a semi-tailored suit or a drive through take out restaurant
Health meter = bathroom scales or a blood pressure monitor
Free talking = a hands-free phone or an open discussion
A magic pen = a marker or something that writes with invisible ink
Non pro = being an amateur or being against something
To crank in = to start an old car or to start shooting a film
A meat shop = a pickup bar or a butcher’s
A plus driver = an elderly motorist or a Phillips screwdriver
A TV game=a quiz show that is on TV or a video game that you can play on your TV
A mini theatre= a cinema that seats few people or a home entertainment system
Business and technical English
Without using any words in the expressions, explain what any one of the Japanese English expressions below mean. When your partner thinks they know which one you are talking about, they will say the number of at that expression. Tell them if that was your intention.
1. cool biz
2. An OL
3. CM
4. salary loan
5. The dollar shock
6. The oil shock
7. Golden hour
8. Minus driver
9. Symbol mark
10. Excellent company
11. Base up
12. A Y shirt
13. Pocketable
14. Order made
15. Building money
16. An OB
17. Tunnel company
18. paper company
19. a one man president
20. main bank
21. Image up
22. Country risk
23. a non bank
24. image down
25. name value
26. minus image
27. cost down
28. level up
Answer key
Cheek dance = people who are dancing very close
High teens = people who are between 15 and 19
A girl hunt = when men go out to pick up women
No make = the time when you wear no lipstick etc
Season off = the time when most people don’t take a holiday
A cutter = a knife that you use on paper
A nighter = a baseball game that takes place after dark
High miss = an older lady who isn’t married
Home drama = a soap opera
Easy order = a semi-tailored suit
Health meter = bathroom scales
Free talking = an open discussion
A magic pen = a marker
Non pro = being an amateur
To crank in = to start shooting a film
A meat shop = a butcher’s
A plus driver = a Phillips screwdriver
A TV game= a video game that you can play on your TV
A mini theatre= a cinema that seats few people
1. cool biz: Dressing down for the summer
2. An OL: Office lady- a female office worker
3. CM: Commercial message: An ad
4. salary loan: A loan from a consumer loan company
5. The dollar shock: When the yen was revalued
6. The oil shock: When the price of all suddenly went up
7. Golden hour: prime time
8. Minus driver: a normal screwdriver
9. Symbol mark: a logo
10. Excellent company: a blue chip company
11. Base up: a pay rise to your or everyone’s basic pay
12. A Y shirt- a white shirt- a business shirt
13. Pocketable- portable/ fits in your pocket
14. Order made- custom made
15. Building money- making monet
16. An OB- old boy
17. Tunnel company- a paper company
18. paper company
19. a one man president- a manager who makes all the decisions on their own
20. main bank- …that your company does business with
21. Image up- improving your image
22. Country risk- a risky country to invest in
23. a non bank- other sources of credit
24. image down-
25. name value- the value of a brand name etc.
26. minus image
27. cost down- reducing costs
28. level up- improving the level
100 comments on the blog!! Thanks guys, keep them coming.
Not satisfied with that level of fame and fortune, am going to attempt to jump on not one by two of the biggest bandwagons of our time at the same time. Try to picture that as a literal, physical feat and I think you will be impressed! The two stories being: Harry Potter and the Chinese economy. The IHT beat me to it with a story about such great Chinese ‘creations’ as “Rich dad, poor dad and Harry Potter”, but there is of course an EFL link too:
My collection of Chinese rip-off English language textbook names
Any more gratefully accepted:
No, not TEFLtastic- Toyota. Now that Toyota is top of the world, it seems all some analysts can see is the inevitable decline. Understandable in a way, but it is not as if the Japanese gave up their number one position in most other products in a hurry, so after quickly consulting my dartboard I’d say Toyota shares are a buy.
So as the Japanese are number one in cars, video game machines, animation etc. etc, why not English? It is understandable that the immense differences in the vocabulary, writing systems, grammar and pronunciation of the languages makes it a lot harder than switching from English to Dutch- but why at least haven’t they come up with a language learning method that helps them catch up with the same ease and convenience as a (Japanese-owned) 7-11?
Part of the reason for the lack of Japanese progress with English, despite millions of dollars spent on ALT*s and millions of books bought every year is actually connected to that convenience store thing- language learning does not lend itself to clever effort saving solutions in the same way as toilet technology. Another problem lies in those millions of books, as authors are judged the same way as salarymen and churning out books reliably is seen as the height of a writer’s skill. The main problem, though, is the one Toyota is facing- a lack of a clear goal where to go next.
Most Japanese students come into a language school classroom convinced by high school English lessons, impossibly obscure university entrance tests and the above named ungraded English learning books that they will never be able to communicate in any way in English. When they find out they can, they are so happy they don’t seem to know where to go next. As the Toyota article says: “What do you do when you pass a rabbit you’ve been chasing for 70 years?”
* ALT, Alien Language Teacher- a native speaking assistant teacher who helps give lessons in Junior High schools etc. Not to be confused with ALF, which is Alien Language Friend- someone who gives informal English conversation lessons in cafes.