The Alternative English Teaching Jargon Dictionary
NEW- clicking on the links can now give you the “non-alternative” definition, so you can kill two cows with one stone
accuracy- Not making mistakes in a foreign language. A student who is obsessed about having every mistake corrected, often Swiss, is called an Accurist
Acquisition facilitator- A factor such as needing a good TOEIC for a promotion that will make it easier for a language school to separate a student and his or her money
advanced learner- a proficient user of a foreign language, usually one who can correct their teacher once or twice a term and still thinks it is clever to do so. A learner who could do so even more often but has learnt that they are actually there to learn something and move up to the next level is defined as proficiency level.
affect- basically, emotional factors in the classroom, e.g. feelings towards L2, the teacher, native speakers etc. This noun is stressed on the first syllable, and correcting a teacher on this is a perfect example of producing negative affect with error correction.
affix- In a rare but not unique example of linguistic jargon being named after a childrens toy, affixes are named after the plastic model brand Airfix. This is due to sticking affixes onto the front of words (prefixes, mis- etc.) or end of words (suffixes, -ify etc.) being like a nerdy teenager sticks decals onto a badly painted model of a WWII Spitfire fighter plane.
Affordances- Student decisions on whether a teacher with an MA in Sociolinguistics is worth the extra cash or not
agency- In linguistics, having agency means having control over your own language learning. How ironic then that agency is also the name for the companies that sell English courses in the UK etc. abroad by lying through their teeth about likely progress, extra charges, friendliness of host families etc. etc.
ALT (Alien Language Teacher)- a native speaking assistant teacher who helps give lessons in Junior High schools etc. Not to be confused with ALF (Alien Language Friend)- someone who gives informal English conversation lessons in cafes.
Anthropological linguists- Studying the feuds and other interactions of linguists as if they were a Papua New Guinea tribe
Applied Linguistics- A euphemism, from the Latin for “practical use of your tongue”
Approximants- Sounds that are as close as your students are ever going to get to the real pronunciation of English, e.g. something somewhere between an /r/, /l/ and /w/ but usually identifiable as an attempt at one of these sounds
aptitude- your inbuilt ‘talent’ for learning languages. Not to be confused with ‘apitude’, which is your ability to make a realistic bee -like buzzing noise with your mouth.
ARC- (Authentic, Restricted, Clarification). This more flexible variation on PPP is thought by the cabalist school of English teaching to be the original language teaching method passed on by Noah after the great flood, PPP* being a later corrupted version.
articulators- The special parts of the mouth, nose and throat (e.g. larynx, pharynx, hard palate, alveolar ridge) that are only used when we pronounce articles in English.
assimilation- A form of connected speech where a sound in a word is modified by its neighbours, e.g. buying a computer operated sprinkler because everyone else has one
attention- the stance with ramrod straight back and eyes directly forward that helps language learners concentrate on the language point being taught and not be distracted by other things. Experienced teachers find that shouting “Attention!” during the important part of a grammar explanation and having their students jump up and line up helps retention.
Audiolingual method- Literally, the ’sound tongue’ method. Based on behaviourist experiments such as the famously salivating Pavlov’s dog, students would be made to control the panel of a language lab booth using only their tongue in order to help them physically memorize the dialogues on the tape. This method died out when it was found that student errors are in fact contagious, and were being picked up by future students licking the same booth controls (this is also why Japanese students wear face masks on days when they are making many language errors, so as not to pass them on).
base form- This rather negative expression for the form ‘be’, ‘do’, ‘have’ etc. comes from a medieval superstition that this verb form was somehow dirty and brought bad luck. It has now been replaced by the more PC expression ‘infinitive without to’.
back-reference- The technical term for bitching about someone when they are not there
Behaviourism- The idea that skills such as speaking another language could be taught in the same way as disciplining a child or teaching a dog how to fetch. It became less popular after the last generation of makers of craft dunce hats in Cornwall died out, and using dog leads and collars in the language classroom is now only a very specialist, if exclusive, market.
BIELT- The British Institute of English Language Teaching, set up with the goals of establishing a framework of professional qualifications and a professional code of practice. It failed.
Bilabial- Used to describe someone whose lips can go either way
bilingualism- Literally ‘having two tongues’. This is still considered a negative thing in countries such as the USA.
blended learning- The idea that in order for the attention deficit disorder young people of today to be able to learn a language, everything has to reduced to an easily-digested, computer-generated, un-intellectually-stimulating mush; like making baby food in a blender.
bottom-up processing- As an extension on NLP theories of where people look when they are thinking and what that means about their preferred learning style, researchers have found that they direction in which you scan the face and body of good looking people of the other sex is related to how you best process the information in a text. For example, people who start looking at the arse and work their way up (bottom-up processors) tend to do well at noticing the small details of a text but less well in noticing how the information is arranged into paragraphs etc.
BULATS- language testing euphemism for “bollocks”
CALL (Computer assisted language learning- pronounced /kal/)- An intermediate step on the way to HAL.
chunks- Strings of language that are not digested properly and come out whole when you’ve had too many beers during a language exchange party.
Classroom pigeon- The kind of lucky classroom distractions that teachers who have started an explanation of a language point they don’t know end up hoping will come and save them
clause- Clauses are the largest grammatical unit smaller than a whole sentence. Not to be confused with ‘Klaus’, who is the man with the largest waistline ever to attempt to wear leather shorts.
CLL- (community language learning- pronounced /cululu/). Based on counselling therapy, students sit in a circle and are helped by the teacher to cooperatively produce a dialogue in English on a tape about their relationship with the local catholic priest.
Cloze- The practice of making random spelling changes to make a word seem technical or impressive
CLT- Communicative Language Teaching- The idea that by communicating with your students you can avoid having to teach them
CMC (Computer-mediated communication)- When everything the teacher says goes through the students’ electronic dictionaries before it is accepted as true
Cognitive code learning theory- The idea that writing textbooks with everything written in code, such as converting all the letters to numbers, was the best way of stimulating students’ logical-mathematical learning style
Coherence- The part of a teacher’s classroom language that gets worse as their grading and speaking speed get better
Cohesion- The tendency of students to get attached to teachers and complain if the teacher changes, even when they know they are learning nothing in his or her classes
Community Language Learning- The theory that students getting together at break time to bitch about British food and their teacher is the best way of drawing them together and increasing their motivation to learn
complexity- How much of a hang up students have about using things like conjuctions and pronouns
compound sentence- Being forced to spend 5 years teaching in Saudi Arabia in order to afford to retire
compounding- A way of forming words by combining two or more nouns or adjectives. Not to be confused with “pounding“, which is the technical term for when a student makes endless identical failed efforts at pronouncing a word until the teacher screams at them to stop
Comprehensible input- Teachers making their classroom language understandable by only using terms from the BASIC programming language
concord- Another name for agreement, such as agreeing to add an -e onto the end of the supersonic plane name just to make the French shut up for a minute
connected speech- When the student who always starts long monologues about random topics manages, by some fluke, to say something perfectly connected to what you want to do in the next part of the lesson
connotation- The good, bad, humurous, old-fashioned etc. associations of words and expressions. The word “connotation” is derived from the French word “con”, which is a nice way of saying “bloody stupid”
Consciousness-raising - Using obscure grammar questions as a path to enlightenment, similar to the Zen Buddhist use of koan such as “What is the sound of one hand clapping?”
Content-based approaches- Doing anything that keeps your students happy
Contrastive analysis- trying to work out what the picture on a bad photocopy is when asked to talk about it in class
co-ordinate clauses- When two or more clauses of equal rank are linked they are co-ordinate clauses. As well as learning to spot these, students will need the classroom language of talking about them, e.g. “Do you think this clause looks okay with this one?” “It’s a bit last year, why don’t you try it together with this?” “Does my main clause look big with this?” “Oh no, darling, just throw in this conjunction and it is sooooo you”
Corpora- Dead bodies of language
Corpus linguistics- Cutting up dead bodies to learn about language
Corrective feedback- Using the squealing sound of an electric guitar brought close to an amplifier as a way of memorably showing students they have made a mistake
Deductive grammar teaching- e.g. using “Elementary My Dear Watson” from Communication Games to teach past tenses
Deep-end strategy- Saying something really philosophical in the last few seconds of each lesson
Deterministic grammar rules- ones you are destined never to understand
Direct Method- Use a special marking code for written work including symbols like “wtf?”, “rotfl” and “bs”
Discovery approach (the)- Finding out something your students like talking about by chance and then milking it as much as you can
Disscourse analysis- Analyzing the language students use to slag off their teacher
DoS- Director of Studies. Often confused with the similar word “dosser”
Drilling- Popular with Asian students who get stressed with fluency activities, this consists of making a hole in the skull to relieve the pressure
dummy operator- An English teacher to very young learners
EACRP- English for Avoiding Cultural Restrictions Purposes- like Japanese women who can only debate in English because the feminine forms of their own language are so weak it is impossible to compete with men
EAWP- English for Avoiding Work Purposes- coming to class might be the only chance they have for a one hour lunch break
EBP- English for Budgetary Purposes- for companies where the only way to give staff training on the cheap is to choose English lessons rather than the IT training they really need
EBP- English for Babysitting Purposes
ECP- English for Chaperone Purposes- for Turkish university students who are only allowed to stay out past the curfew of their halls and meet people of the other sex by signing on for English classes
EEP -English for Extramarital Purposes
EFluant- Teachers who have been in the business for more than 10 years without getting a decent job
EGSP- English for Gaijin Stalking Purposes/English for Giri Stalking Purposes- this one works for women whose list of needs in a relationship are topped by “blond hair” in both Spain and Japan
Eikaiwa- The Japanese for “English conversation”. This is the mostly frequently used term for the private language school industry as it includes the two crucial factors of “English” (meaning the ability of teachers to look like they a stereotypical Englishman) and “conversation” (meaning the ability to sustain a 45 min conversation with someone who is too shy to speak)
EKTRP- English for Killing Time after Retirement Purposes
ELTA- English language teaching assistants- The students you always turn to first when you are trying to elicit something
ENP- English for Nationalistic Purposes- such as explaining to foreigners why they should never criticise your country
EOP- English for Occupational Purposes- Studying the language to keep yourself occupied, e.g. after retirement
Error correction- In the same way as it is possible to win an argument with your partner or correct someone’s wrong impression of you just by telling them you are wrong, in TEFL it is possible to stop students making grammar mistakes by pointing out their errors
ESAP- English for Smart Arse Purposes- such as showing off the latest useless idiom they have learnt
ETP- English for Therapeutic Purposes- because your GABA teacher is the only person who will listen to your problems
ETS- The American organisation behind TOEFL and TOEIC. Many researchers are now convinced that these tests were set up in order to hold back the worldwide tendancy to learn English that is useful for communication, therefore helping the USA retain its competitive edge.
Explicit grammar teaching- The use of example sentences on the theme of sex to increase learner motivation and language retention
Explicit knowledge- Knowing swear words and sexual language
Exposure- One of the most common reasons for the dismissal of TEFL teachers
Flaps- Chairs with flaps rather than tables started as a Japanese S&M love hotel accesory, but has now become a standard part of the average language school. Influences that led to this change of purpose include: (a) Suggestopedia teachers patenting the use of comfortable chairs and, (b) Early Humanistic Language Teachers reading in a furniture catalogue that they “help you open up and show your vulnerabilities” and taking its meaning to be metaphorical
fricatives- Sounds that are produced by friction. The word “fricative” is derived from the euphamism “fricking”, and was originally used only to mean the insulting “raspberry” sound produced with your tongue
Holistic language teaching- The idea that the lesson and students’ heads are empty spaces that need to be filled somehow
hybrid language learning- When strong students help weaker ones not just by explaining grammar but by contributing some of their genes with the use of modern classroom cloning technology
i + 1- As illustrated by the career of Krashen, the fact that you only need to keep banging on about one idea (i + 1) to become famous in linguistics
Juncture- The age of the rule of the Junker class in Germany, who were famous for pausing between each and every word to give them all strong Germanic emphasis
Learner awareness- Remembering that you are the teacher and they are the students, despite the fact that due to all your eliciting the students do all the talking and explain all the grammar to each other
liaison- When an extra sound between a final vowel and the first sound of the next word pass notes back and forward until they get together for some really hot connected speech
linguistics- Literally, ‘the science of the tongue’. This definition is only to be used when someone you are chatting up asks you what you do if you are both very very drunk. Ditto applied linguistics.
mentalist- People who follow mentalism, mainly young language teachers who use illegal substances at all night ‘Chomskian raves’.
Mim-mem method (the) - replacing language practice with transcendental meditation
non-finite clause- a non-finite clause is one that contains a non-finite verb, i.e. a verb that is not marked for tense and person such as an infinitive. Not to be confused with a infinite clause, which is what French students produce when trying to do IELTS or CAE writing.
non-voiced- Negative feedback to using games in class that doesn’t come out until the end of course feedback because they always seem to be having fun
Notional syllabus- The vague idea that you should plan and do things in order
Pairwork- Getting students to work together. The expression “pairwork” is used to illustrate that double (”pair”) the effort (”work”) is needed by the teacher (to explain what he wants the students to do) and students (to understand what the hell Gs going on) as compared with just doing it as a whole class
Peer observations- When your DoS* tries to see what you are up to from outside your classroom without being seen by you
plosive sounds- The sounds students make just before they explode, e.g. the first four sounds in “bu bu bu bu..but I DID DO MY HOMEWORK!!”
prefix and suffix- These affixes that go on the front (sub-, re- etc.) and back (-able, -ly etc.) of words are named after Asterix characters that always wandered into battle at the front of the phalanx not knowing how much trouble they were getting into (Prefix) or cowered at the back until Obelix found them (Suffix).
schema- The back stabbing ADoS who will eventually fight their way up to School Manager
School Principal- In a school where the DoS* only has responsibility for academic matters, “School Principal” is often used as the title of the school’s business manager. Please note from the spelling of “principal” that the duties of this job should not be confused with “school manager with principles”, an outdated concept that died out in the early 90s
Silent period- Krashen suggested that students, especially East Asians, should be given a silent period of 5 or 10 minutes to respond to each question
Silent Way- A method originating with Gattegno and widely adopted in Asia in which the teacher keeps nattering on to cover the uncomfortable silence left by the students’ incomprehension of the game and unwillingness to speak
Silent Way (The)- A largely unsuccessful attempt to teach a language by spending the whole lesson standing at the front of the class with your arms crossed staring angrily at the students like your school teacher when he’d given up on yelling as a way of making the class shut up. As with its original inspiration, the only things a Silent Way teacher was allowed to say were “I can wait all day”, “It’s not my time you’re wasting, it’s your own” and “Whenever you’re ready, gentlemen”. Other even less successful attempts to turn school teacher disciplinary tricks into entire language learning methodologies include the Hysterical Hissy Fit Way, the Throwing the Board Eraser Way and the Throat-clearing Way.
SLA- Second Language Acquisition- The theory that you are guaranteed to learn a language if you just spend enough money on it
Sociolinguist- Abbreviation of “sociopathological linguist”, responsible for the worst academic feuds
stance- Stance (also, appraisal*) is the way people show their personal attitude to what they are hearing or reading. As the word originally comes from how people stand, in linguistics stance language is divided into categories based on body language, e.g. ‘hands on hip stance language’ and ‘I’m a little tea pot stance language’.
STT- Stupid Talking Time- How long you should let a student talk after you realize they’ve got completely the wrong idea of what you are trying to elicit or the topic of conversation.
Suggestopedia- This method of putting language learners into a hypnotic state through comfortable chairs and relaxing music was discredited in the late eighties when the teacher scripts were discovered to consist mainly of repeated phrases like “You will not get stressed about learning nothing” and “You can increase your TOEIC score by buying your teacher a drink”
TBLT- Task Based Lettuce and Tomato The “strong form of TBLT” includes English mustard, while the “weak form of TBLT” only has mayonnaise
TEFL- Teaching English as a Foreign Language. It was once quite ordinary to refer to the industry as TEFL and even say “I am a TEFL teacher”, but as the term has taken on a negative image of cowboy schools, underqualified teachers and all the other sterotypes of the industry. “EFL teacher” and “the ELT industry” are now much more generally used by people inside the industry, although of course the negative view people have rather than the word people use is the problem. I am therefore starting a campaign to reclaim the word TEFL, in the same way as the N word has become standard for rappers.
TEI- Teacher Effectiveness Index- Not to be confused with TIE-Teacher Index Effectiveness- a number to represent a teacher’s ability to put book in the teachers’ room back in order.
Threshold Level- The level at which students can join the conversation with the teacher at the pub after lessons, usually indicated by the fact that they are part of the circle rather than looking over other people’s shoulders
TLA- In his book “Teacher Language Awareness”, Stephen Andrews controversially claims that “in order to do their jobs well, teacher must be aware that there are languages”(pg.1729), to which the famous repost on the Humanizing Language Teaching website was “Hey Stevie man, chill out! Fascist!”
TOEFL- Test of English with Fluency Lacking- A test of English in which you can get full marks without speaking one word. Originally developed only for people who have physical problems with their voice box, eventually having been through an East Asian education system was accepted as a disability and it soon became one of the leading tests in Japan, China and Korea
TPR- Total Physical Response- The reaction from students to mention of a test or extra homework
TPRA (Total Physical Response for Adults)- using activities like the song “YMCA” with actions with classes such as Business English. This ultimate proof of English teaching technique is often used near the end of a TEFL career.
TTT- Teacher Talking Time. According to modern SLA* theories, the amount of TTT should be reduced, preferably at the same rate as TEFL wages are going down. This is so that the amount of effort you put in per pound remains stable.
Universal Grammar-formerly “Miss Universal Grammar”
vocatives- the functions on a karaoke machine
vowels- Sounds that are made without any significant obstruction or constriction. The word is derived by shortening the phrase “v(ery loose b)owels”
Vygotskyan sociocultural theory of learning- The idea that if you tell students your classes are “Vygotskyan” and manage to pronounce and spell it right, they will trust everything you do from then, even if you and they have no idea what it means
Warmer- An activity that fulfills the role of classroom heating, such as star jumps, group hugs or burning vocabulary lists they have learnt
Washback effect- The build up of spit in the mouth by Spanish speaking students trying to pronounce /h/ properly
Weak interface position- A Japanese handshake, or the idea that pointing out how much contempt it gets could result in them learning a decent grip
zero article- This is the ‘invisible’ article used instead of ‘a’/'an’ or ‘the’ when you are refering to something general using a plural or uncountable noun, e.g. “- apples grow on trees”. Native speakers use a tiny, almost unnoticeable hiccupping movement of the diaphragm to mark the zero article. You can develop this skill in students by having them cough or hiccup loudly when they use a zero article and then gradually reduce the noise as they go up in language level.
ZPD- Zone of Proximal Development- The short period of time during which it is acceptable to ask a student out on a date